Celeb resolutions

My friend Vinay calls me Paparazzi Potter. Motivated by the nick name, I have been doing some paparazzi work off late and have come across some interesting gossip,sorry truth,truth and nothing but truth. 2009 has seen many controversies and our celebrities have made resolutions for 2010.I have learned about some of these resolutions from our so called celebrities. Let's have a look.

Our honorable Minister of State, Shashi Tharoor has resolved to work for the External ministry through twitter only. So in the future, you may find tweets like these on Tharoor's page :

•  Me n SMK (SM Krishna) met our Chinese cntrparts for dinner. I asked them to open their eyes and LOLd
•  Writing this report while watching 'Dawn of the Dead'. Lyk it and hope I dont end up with a report on zombies ;)

Shiney Ahuja has decided to do all the household chores himself as it'll keep him occupied while being jobless and it will serve another bigger purpose too, of introspection.No maids in 2010!

Kareena Kapoor was the only one in the country who actually understood what problem Shiv Sena had with this poster of Kurbaan-->
So her resolution for 2010 is have a poster with the positions reversed.She said in a press meet "I am sure the Shiv sainiks will have no complaints after this"

Pramod Mutalik's new year resolution is simple and straightforward. Attack more girls in public. According to a source, the Pink chaddi campaign didn't live upto their expectations and the party seniors are complaining that many cadres haven't got even one pink chaddi yet while the more powerful and influential ones are keeping all the chaddis

Barack Obama's resolution is  to not do or say something which will get him another Nobel prize this year. "I will strive my level best," says a press release from Washington D.C. quoting the US President, "but I cannot guarantee that the Nobel committee will not decide to confer me the Peace Prize again. They are nice people.Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Oh, I digress"

Tiger Woods has a resolution too . But just as he was announcing it, he saw a blonde passing by and before they could catch him, he was gone.

Satyam's RamaLinga  Raju has other plans. He has just watched Shawshank Redemption in jail and now is planning to reprise Andy Dufrense's character in real life, but in a much professional and polished way than digging a hole for 20 years. He has planned to manipulate the records in the jail so much that there is will be no evidence that he was ever in jail. And finally he'll make a dramatic escape, something like in this pic.


In midst of all this, one man has made a silent resolution to himself. Or I wish he has. Hit a century in every match :D. Sachin Tendulkar : Switch to GODMODE!

Any other celebs whose resolutions you would wanna know? ;)

Happy New Year everyone! Let the FUN continue :)

Grounded!

I am grounded. Parents not at all happy with my regularly being out of town(dunno what their problem is :( ). The point now is for two consecutive long weekends,I will be at home(almost). So I thought I'll come with a proper plan to efficiently utilize the 6 days without simply goofing around on my PC reading reddit posts, stumbling etc and ending up getting bored. That's why this post.  So without further ado, lets gets started. I will also be editing the post to update what I actually did that day (Big incentive)


Day 1(Dec 25) : Well,  its a little more than 4 hours left for the day and I have no regrets. I cooked breakfast , saw a super cool movie (Avatar) today, slept a bit, cleaned up the house (prep for new year party at my place ;)) and now writing this blog which is very important too since its been some 50 days since I last posted! I'll go on a walk now and get a pirated novel. Looking for Godfather 2.
EDIT: I went out and got this book "Inspite of the Gods", with the tagline 'The Strange rise of Modern India'. Seems like a good read

Day 2 : A long pending activity, taking my bike LL exam. Seems like I have to muster all my will-power and  fight off strong inertia to go to the RTO office (wondering why? Lets just say bad memories) but I WILL get it done this time. To the club at noon. In the evening, I'll just curl up with a book. I also have to sort out clothes for the next week (Believe me, I have never done this.EVER). Watch some movie
EDIT: Didn't I tell you me and the RTO office don't go well? :P I went there at 10:45 and the agent says after taking the cash from me "Long queue now. Not possible.Come on tuesday" I submitted the docs and came.Went to the club also and as usual, my sneeze fest started and my head was heavy for a long time after comnig out of water. Rottentomatoes has become one of my favourite sites. They have updates on movies releasing 2 years later,cool movie info,plus the latest trailers (See IronMan 2 & Clash of the Titans).So you know what I did instead of "curling up with a book". I tried watching 2012 & Lord of the rings (Animated, 1977)but both were real funny. I did wash my clothes though.

Day 3 : Its sunday already. Have to go to the club again, to the gym and swimming. No excuses. Study something worthwhile,and then more cleaning up the house. I am planning on another blog post too, guess it'll happen here.
EDIT: I made Palak rice for bf(it was good actually), then sat down to read the book I had got while waiting for John(He was supposed to come from mysore to stay over at my place and get his passport work done the next day). So..ahem..3rd day didnt go as planned :P. We went for a round of bike ride (majestic :D. Actually went for 3 idiots,but no tickets). Then came home and saw back-to-back disturbing movies(Paranormal activity & District 9).
And thanks for the response for this post. People have been reminding & inquiring me about the plan. Kinda amusing and heartening too :).Until next weekend...

Now I feel planning for the next week is to much for me . I'll try my best to stick to this plan. A new year you see, a new order :P

Day 4 ( Jan 1) : 31st is hectic with activity, so I guess I'll start the new year with a rest day. Ya and do Perl programming exercises (YES!YES!YES!) I'll meet up any friends who are free and ready to meet up
EDIT: It was a rest day (as planned :D) . Evening I was out with friends to the crowded chaat street, where we hogged junk food like there's no tomorrow. No Perl :(

Day 5 : Almost grounded, NEVER FULLY GROUNDED. Planning a bike trip to Yelagiri. I'm hoping it'll work out.
EDIT: Yay, went for a bike trip combined with a trek to Rangaswamy betta.There was nothing much to see there so half the time we just lazed on some rock and spoke nonsense . Evening again dinner out with friends. Point to self No more junk food and eating out for January

Day 6 : All Izz Well. Gotta catch 3 idots. I am allotting this to Sunday but it will happen sometime in these 3 days. I will be going to the club too (I have missed out on this for too many weekends off late. Trying to make up). Watch a couple of movies.

Hmm, lemme see scrolls up. This seems fine. Being at home doesn't seem that bad.I'll keep editing this post updating what I have actually done everyday. And no worries, the holiday season has just started for me wink wink

The legend of Masala-X

I am pining.I am pining my dinners away.The sambar masala which mom packed (lets call it masala-X for easy readability) me for Diwali is nowhere to be seen. No ordinary powder this one. One look at it and you would be reminded of gunpowder. Bend down a little and smell it and the spicy flavor of it intoxicates . Just don't get your nose too close,for all you'll get is fits of sneezing and coughing. You have been warned.You might not convinced yet.Let me compare this to the popular MTR Sambar masala. The most efficient way of putting it is this :

That sums it up (I knew my calculus would be put to good use someday). Few of us might argue there is no way one can integrate MTR masala from 0 to e powered x to get some mom's sambar masala. If that's the case,you are cordially invited to a Sunday afternoon sambar-rice lunch to my place over which I will prove to you beyond doubt the above equation. Fine, we shall take a more real-life example for the present, say traffic in Hyderabad. Another mathematical equation comes handy again :

                 Masala-X : MTR's   : :  Hyderabad city traffic : Galli traffic in Ejipura

An inquisitive mind (probably one of those who had a problem with the integral)or a Bangalore loyalist would raise a question as to why Hyderabad was quoted and not Bangalore, although I daresay this matter is none to be proud of. I am afraid I will have digress further assuming that my intelligent reader is capable enough  to keep track of the narrative.Lets take a simple case of a pedestrian crossing the road in Himayatnagar, a fairly upmarket locality in Hyderabad. Once you reach the middle of the road, 6 out of 10 times you find yourself dead straight in line with an adrenaline charged biker zooming at an inestimable speed, usually returning from a telugu movie at a theatre at RTC X-Roads where he would have seen the super hero (there are only superheroes in telugu movies)  beat the crap out of the 50 people surrounding him in an epic climax. At that instant as you look into his eyes, you know you are done for. And at that very instant,your entire life will unfold in front of your eyes in a series of snapshots, rewinding fast from frame to frame. Then blank.Peace.….A deafening noise. The bike has zoomed past and you are standing like a dead trunk in the middle of the road,heart in your mouth You have been warned. Again.

Now that we have effectively described the credentials of this masala powder, I have to clarify one more thing. Granny will be stirring in her grave hearing me address the legendary Masala-X as mom's, for it was her patented recipe. As a kid, when I visited grandma's place for summer holidays, I would get down the auto and run straight to he kitchen shouting "Ajjjjji, masale haaki huli madidiii?"(Grandma,have you prepared the sambar adding the masala?) Grandma would walk to me at a slow pace, chuckling, peck me on my mouth (Why do grannys do that!?) and then open the container to proudly display the brownish-red sambar, its aroma filling the entire kitchen.And then we cousins would have the rice and sambar for dinner,with dollops of ghee to add, sometimes in the verandah by moonlight. My summer holidays were made of such memories :). Ajjis and Ajjas have gone, but their legacy remains.

So what now? I have lost all hopes of finding masala-X. And so the X-factor wil be missing in my dinner till I go home next time. Until then, I will just have to make do with the e^x times differentiated version from the MTRs.

Things I want to do

I have been content off late.And happy. Given my enthusiasm for a variety of things, there are few chances of this contentment phase slipping into the indifference phase and then the rut phase (get it?), but I dont want to take chances. And I am serious about improvising myself. So I am penning this list here. Ah, I am being careful to mention these are things I 'want' to do, not things I 'will' do. Thats because some of these are realistic short term goals, long term goals and some mere wishes as of now. Positively, many of them should convert into my new year resolutions.

I want to:

• Go on a long trip. No planning, no time frame, no destination in mind. I have a serious urge to do this alone. Something major has to happen to trigger this
  
• Be less rude to close friends.
• Get out of my comfort zone as often as possible. I take time to get out of my comfort zone.I've done better off late, but I want to really push it now.
• Speak to more people, even strangers. I want to think there are wonderful people around us and life can be more colorful :)
  
• Make my CS degree speak. Brush up on my rusty programming skills.
• Achieve 20 burpees. The prison workout!
  
• Improve my stock market gyaan and prediction skills. Make it a major source of income ;)
  
• Blog more. I am not sure what kind of reactions this will evoke, but I want to use it like a diary more often,writing to myself
• Inculcate discipline.  I know this does not do justice to the title of the blog, but lets not worry too soon
• Learn whistling! How many more magic moments and great sequences will I let pass away while i just sit there while watching movies? I need to take a day and get this done with

This should be fine for now. Suggestions from friends and well-wishers are welcome :)

For those who are looking, the I-am-not-going-to list :

• I-am-not-going-to stop watching anime
• I-am-not-going-to stop visiting reddit.com
• I-am-not-going-to be polite with my friends
• I am not going to keep my room spotless clean.. you will figure out the rest

***
Its my blog's birthday on Oct 24th! Precious words from the kid himself : I have to say I am quite happy how Mr.Chaotic has shaped me. I think I am growing up to be a cool,cool person. I have to admit though, that I am still a struggling blog .We need to work on this,dad. Advanced Thanks for all your wishes. Gifts wil be appreciated even more. Keep visiting :)

There, you heard the guy. Happy Birthday Blog. And many happy returns :) :)

Small is BIG!

Who doesn't love Maggi? For most of us, Maggi is the favorite hungry-at-midnight snack, the rainy-evenings snack, too-hungry-to-cook snack, just-wanna-have-something-spicy snack and so on. I am yet to come across a person who says "I hate Maggi". And when I do, I would think twice before continuing the conversation :D. Anyways, the point I am trying to make is, few things around us seem like they are too simple and small to be bestowed with such popularity,yet definitely NOT overrated.

This is how I came to make this pointless list while trying to kill time during the 12-hour bus journey last week. (There was a return journey too. Expect more posts :P)

Andaz Apna Apna: This movie is now a cult classic. You just can't watch the movie enough times. And all your friends will agree. But I am sure no one associated with the movie would have thought the movie would garner such a huge fan following in years to come; more so when the movie was actually a flop when it was released(I know,such blasphemy!).

Horoscopes : Most(I cant get myself to say all) horoscopes are fake. Today's prediction for Leo maybe an exact copy-paste of yesterday's Taurus'. Everyone knows it.But it makes for great fun during coffee breaks or just comparing yours with your best friend's :). And on few hilarious days, you get lines like this : You will find the love of your life today. (And so)Your day will be filled with mental anxiety and tension

Cats: At a broad level, a Cat is just a domestic animal. Comes relatively low in the food cycle. Kids know it only because it helps them remember the letter 'C'. It does nothing, just whiles away most of its life sleeping,looks bored when awake and ignores you completely;let alone try to impress you, like your dog. But you can't deny cats are amazing creatures. The feline charm is indisputable.Its just the lineage you see.

Old DD presentations: Being born and brought up in a media-starved generation does this to you. You see the Ek-Anek Video and go into huge fits of nostalgia and tell all your friends about how wonderful it feels. You download/copy episodes of Byomkesh Bakshi or The Flop Show (remember Jaspal Bhatti?) and watch them religiously even though a 5-yr-old kid will tell you there are too many loopholes or way too many PJs. Nostalgia sure is a wonderful feeling :) (I was careful not to mention Mahabharat,Ramayan or Mile sur mera... here. They were meant to be huge)

Good morning : Things are getting a bit mushy,but I'll plough on. Such a simple phrase and from an age-old culture. Maybe as just a token expression to trigger a conversation or a well meant wish for someone close, the surprising fact is that even after centuries of usage, it does not sound cliched and hasn't got replaced with some modern form of expression. Hello got abridged to Hi,hey etc, wassup came into being but Good morning remains :)

The TV Remote :The TV was a path-breaking invention. Agreed. But the remote? May be when it was first introduced, most people would have frowned "at it as being useless and redundant. But now, the remote is as big, if not bigger than the TV itself. The remote controls you, not the other way round. Entire families go into fights over the remote control . The poor TV just sits in one corner waiting for its deserved attention while the little rectangular thing gets all the attention, thanks our larger-than-life egos. And to think that while the TV has taken vast strides in innovation since its invention, the remote remains the same. Ah, the wonders of modern technology!

Coffee: I am not a coffee person; and I know being a software professional , I'm an exception to the rule. I seriously don't understand why people go ga-ga over coffee. I mean, why the hell would anyone want to have a hot beverage on a hot summer day,that too at 11 AM? Beats me. I can't imagine a scene where the guy who invented coffee, had a first sip of it, and went "EUREKA! This thing is gonna be huge!" But easy to imagine for, say, an ice-cream or a pastry!

I hope this list did make some sense. Now try coming up with more such things and post here ;)

***
Turns out I have not been keeping check of my spending off late. To compensate, I have decided I will be a total kanjoos for some time. The agenda is no treats for myself or friends, absolutely no shopping, no birthday gifts, bargaining wherever possible and more. In short, I am going to be a total ass when it comes to money. Till November end that is. (3 days during Diwali are exempted though ;)) To make it formal, lets have a tag for this.

BJP: The Jas-not-want-ed situation

Last week I heard a couple of friends lamenting the pathetic state BJP is in now. It is true. The "party with a difference" has morphed into a "party with lot of differences". Lets analyze. Should we start with why Mr.Jaswant Singh, an ex- in the party, had a brainwave that he should write a book on Jinnah, or in the first place,write a book? Varied possibilities shoot out. Just to kill time, to whip up some juicy controversy to get himself publicity and popularity, or the more plausible wanting-to-project-himself-as-the-brand-new-liberal-and-secular-leader etc etc. Mr.Singh chuckles.Heh.Or gives an evil grin. Whatever his motive was, one can be almost sure it didn't involve him getting expelled from the party and finding himself saying this: "From the Hanuman of the party I have become the Raavan". Staying true to the party's ideology by picking characters from the Ramayana. Nicely done. But that is just the beginning...of the end.

Now, Mr.Singh takes the Ramayana ideology a tad too seriously and dons the role of Vibishana, letting out a few skeletons out of the BJP closet, one everyday. Few of you might object to comparing Singh to Raavan's noble sibling; point noted. Seizing the moment by its throat,another BJP biggie, Arun Shourie jumps to add non-iodized salt to BJP wounds. I was amused for one,that an elderly staunch Hindutva pro politician referencing Humpty Dumpty and Alice(in Blunderland). May be he is trying to strike a chord with Kindergarten & nursery going kids because Politics is a hot topic of discussion for the kids at that age when they are not crying their eyes out over a chocolate snatched by another bullying kid in class. Well, well, if we thought this was enough damage done for us to remember even till the next elections, few within the party did not want to take any chances. Spicy Avakkai pickle on the wounds. And the credit goes to RSS Chief Sudarshan (repeats what JS said earlier). Branching a bit, this Jinnah guy must have been some dude to be able to influence people so long after he's gone. TOI ran an article on last Sunday referring him as He-who-must-not-be-named or The Dark Lord (from HP series). Touche :P

Thus, skeletons kept rolling out of the closet. Actually, this might have been a sort of theme this month at Delhi. India no match for China,says Navy chief , Pokhran 2 was a fizzle make me say this. Hopefully good sense will prevail soon and wont get to hear things like,hmmm, Lalu was offered DDLJ before ShahRukh,says Rabri or T-Rex never existed (I don't know about others, but this would be a major trauma for me :D)

The big question is, with the biggest opposition party in the parliament left utterly toothless, how much will it hurt the nation. It will considerably. Sonia Gandhi and Mr.PM must be trying hard to stifle their giggles seeing the goings on with their opponents, BJP and the Left . BJP needs to come out of the ridiculous illusion that the party's standpoint on Jinnah is going to affect its image or the votes. It needs to come in sync with the current generation and understand that its a worthless endeavor to dig into the past and this passion is better reserved for addressing the issues faced by India,for our future; for keeping the ruling party on its toes and seeing to it that the promises made are delivered. The sooner it happens, the better for the party and more importantly, for the country.

Mish-Mash Post

The title says it all. Years later, I would like my blog to remind me nostalgically(???) of my life from time to time. So once in a while,such posts will happen (Not because I couldn't think of anything else to write,okay?). Those who already know what's gonna come can directly go to the comments section ;)

Lets start with rants. My most popular rant since last week: My bike has got delayed by atleast 6 weeks :(. I've told everyone I know that I am getting a bike. 2 weeks later there is no bike to show!!! Those idiots informed me of the delay after the payment X(. But how typical of me! This time I didn't wanna hear people say "Always hype and no action" (I knew it !!!) but this is going the same way.Sigh! Speaking of people reminds me of another rant of mine these days. Suddenly everyone has gotten busy. I have to mention The HP fiasco here so that its not forgotten :P. No groups to hang out with,to go to the movies regularly or most importantly,for the trips. What irritates me is that I feel I am the only one who is free,who is available all the time. I have given this a thought and have come with a plan of action. More of this in days to come. If Mom hears me cribbing though, she already has a different action plan ready. I don't need to elaborate.

Dieting : People(Friends at office,particularly) have got bugged hearing this from me day in day out. I checked my weight today. 81.1 kg (with clothes on,mind you). FYI,I've reduced. I have to get to 78, and pretty soon at that. As Naruto would say,"Yosha!" Oh, I've started watching another anime, Getbackers (I can hear the exasperated sighs). Its only 49 episodes; will be finished quickly ;)

Cooking at home is going on well. I had made Bisi Bele Bhath last last week,which turned out yummy and pongal last week, which was not so yummy. I'll try something exotic next. Any suggestions? :D

Coming to movies, the good ones recently: Socha Na Tha (Abhay Deol's debut and Imtiaz Ali's directorial debut), The Reader,12 monkeys. I thought The Hangover was overhyped. And saw Magadheera at this popular single screen theatre where one man stands at the ticket counter and shooes people away with a stick ("block alli sigatte hogappa") and the theatre manager stands authoritatively and directs people to black tickets. And yeah, Kaminey is here and the reviews are very very positive.

Reading The Three Musketeers and The Kite Runner. Totally contrasting reads when it comes to writing style and narration.

Was listening to 'Teredide mane O baa atithi' yesterday. The fact that I can appreciate how really beautiful this song is made me feel lucky,proud and happy to be born as an Indian. And this is just one example of the beautiful things around you. Happy Independence day :)

I can't think of much else. And, here : C&H greatest .This should make up for wasting your time on this useless post.

Finally,thanks to everyone who made my Birthday special last week. Arigato :)